Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The scalp that got away

Dearest fellow mouth-breathers:

It was so close you could smell it, you know?

It started out so well, too. There was the post by Patriot No. 1 Michelle Malkin, subsequently picked up with aplomb by our hawk-eyed colleagues, regarding the comments made by the managing editor of The Washington Post to a Chinese newspaper. And he said so many horrible, horrible things, he did. Things that he really should be fired for. And even if he didn't say them, he almost certainly believes them in his Kruhschev-loving heart, don't you know. A sampling of the near-traitorous utterances:

-America's leaders lie to us.
-Democracy might not be the only answer in Iraq.
-Aspiring journalists might want to actually go to China to get a great story.

And so on. But now -- and bear with me here, I'm so upset just thinking that someone could actually say these kinds of things -- I have to inform you that this might not have been what was actually said.

I know, I know. I was all set with the cake make-up and, like, BAM! my agent just got off the phone with some producer and told me that the Fox News Special, "Philip Bennett: Traitor?" had been spiked. Jerks. Clearly, they haven't been right in the head at FNC since they let Chris Wallace in the door.

Just, really, my deepest condolences, and this ironclad promise: We will not rest until every member of the mainstream media have been hunted down, shot in the head and peed on. I have yet to wipe the foam from my mouth in anticipation of the next great catch.

We'll always have Eason Jordan.

All the best,
Great American No. 1

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 8:47 PM

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