Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Michelle Malkin, recently seen wondering why liberals are so hateful, dreams up hilarious new names for the swine flu.

I’m all for helping keep businesses from being victimized by the uninformed (many voters can empathize because the same thing often happens to us on Election Day), so maybe another name is in order. But what should it be?

The Obama administration has already stopped using the terms “terrorism” (now “man-caused disasters”) and “war on terror” (now “overseas contingency operation”), so there should be no problem changing the name of the “swine flu.” How about “Virus caused disasters”? “Rosie O’Donnell fever”?

Get it? Rosie's a pig. Because she's fat! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 10:48 AM

Friday, April 24, 2009

Courage, Fox News Style

Listen to Jesse Watters bravely transfer a call to a spokesperson!

I will say that Gawker kind of screwed this up by announcing they would be ambushing the guy to begin with.


Permalink posted by Jonathan : 5:07 PM

Thursday, April 23, 2009

News you can abuse

Shorter wingnuttia:

The New York Times is engaged in a fiendish plot to cover up an exclusive news story with potentially damaging reverberations for the Obama administration by printing the item in their newspaper and putting a longer version of it on their website.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 12:22 AM

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Sure the body's only 12 hours cold, but that's the perfect time to engage in Vince Foster-style conspiracy theorizing!

Let's just say these people are starting to wade into some very choppy waters right now.

LATER: Full dive!

...and now bodies are starting to surface.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 9:25 PM

Deep in the Weeds

I don't really want to get in the middle of an inter-blog flame war, but I'll just note that Tom Maguire called another blogger essentially a coward for -- and I am not kidding here -- failing to directly link to a post of his (and instead sending his readers to another blogger who links to the original, brilliant Maguire post.) 

I told you it was stupid.

So Maguire whines: 'He's prepared to call "bullshit', but not to my face - what's missing in his response to my argument is any link at all to me. He's a bold one! Fortunately, my spies are everywhere..."

Well then. Rules are rules, and who am I to question? Anyway, it's late and I'm going to bed .... but wait, what about this section at the end of Maguire's post.

And here is Atrios, who apparently is still blogging:

I'm so old I can remember when everyone would tell me that Tom Maguire was a "reasonable conservative."

That old? I feel bad for the guy.

Ha! Of course, what's missing from that passage, which is now almost two days old, is an actual link to that Atrios quip. So if I understand the rules right, Maguire didn't just slip up and leave out a link to Atrios, he's actually a complete coward who can't bring himself to say such a thing to his virtual face. Do I have this right? Is Maguire really this stupid?

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 1:48 AM

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Shorter Michael Crowley:

When the troops cheered for President Bush, that was totally awesome, but when the employees at the CIA cheered for President Obama, that was really inappropriate and I don't like it one bit. Because!

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 12:09 PM

Monday, April 20, 2009

Dear wingnuts

Doesn't this photo just fill you with burning hateful rage -- that our president would have the temerity to grin and clasp the hand of a sworn enemy?

Above: President Reagan at a Plenary meeting with Soviet General Secretary Gorbachev at the Soviet Mission during the Geneva Summit. 11/20/85.

No? Then you just might be a hack.

LATER: A right-winger breaks with his brethren and offers more interesting photos from history, including Nixon and Mao; and Stalin, FDR and Churchill.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 1:04 PM

Because nothing is sexier than grasping a turkey carcass in the middle of the woods while wearing your wedding dress!

Easily the most disturbing image I've seen in some time:

These are the times I feel like a stranger in my own land. Read the whole sordid tale, if you dare.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 10:59 AM

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Power Line calls out WSJ op-ed for hackishness

Is it the sign of the apocalypse? Kudos to Power Line for being honest, and noting that Coleman has no shot at winning an appeal to the State Supreme Court, but I'm guessing that the Coleman legal efforts are not really about winning anymore and more about being a dick -- backed by national Republicans -- by delaying the seating of Al Franken.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 12:26 PM

Friday, April 17, 2009

I can haz heven?

Shorter Mike Mukasey and Michael Hayden:

Hey, we only tortured around 100 people. It's not like we're monsters or anything! Obama sucks!

On a serious note, this op-ed is top-shelf insanity the whole way through. Read it all to get an understanding of the people who were actually running this country.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 10:44 AM

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Please Explain!

Fox News brings the knowledge:

Teabagging, for those who don't live in a frat house, refers to a sexual act involving part of the male genitalia and a second person's face or mouth.

And now you know.

Oh Lordy I love Fox. Deeper down in the article, there's this:

Click here to join a discussion on teabagging.

Do not click link. Do not click link. Oh, crap:

well i see it took a puke bag liberal to make a disgusting sex act out of the words tea bag, go figure. these people are a bunch of sick sons a britches, only a liberal would want to chew through a ball sack! as far as msnb.ullc.rap with butch maddow and i sheet my draws keith obermueller they probably have first hand knowledge about this sack sucking process. wait a minute! butch probably watched ober and whats that other guy, oh! the tingle up his leg guy chrissy matchew, that tingle must have been keithy boys bottom lip.[he has no upper lip people] thanks fox for the coverage and keep up the good work i say. thanks

That's pure gold, folks.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 8:54 PM

Shakes Fist at Straw Man

Some guy is very angry because the MSM just won't cover the great Right Wing Group Hug of 2009!

Nearly 200,000 Americans showed up to protest high taxes in hundreds of cities around the country today.

The New York Times and The Boston Globe ignored "Tea Parties" altogether. ABC and CBS reporters were nowhere to be found.

Well, that makes me very mad! And down with the corporate media for asking a man to explain why our president is a fascist!

Furthermore look at how the evil New York Times ignored the Tea Parties today! Look at them ignoring them again! Look at this ignoring roundtable discussion. Look at this ignoring from the Boston Globe! As for ABC and CBS, both were nowhere to be found with these reports.

Never let facts get in the way of a good rant.

[via, shockingly]

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 11:35 AM

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Fun with our Power Line pals

Shorter John Hinderaker:

Obama said he didn't know about our amazing, awesome Tea Parties. He's a liar! Liaaaaar! Liiiiiiaaaaaaarrrrrr!!!!!! [Weeps uncontrollably, grabs gun]

I can't believe how much fun this is.

And, dude, Obama is tweaking you by feigning ignorance. Bush used to pull that stunt quite a bit. Get a grip.

LATER, FROM THE WISHFUL THINKING DEPT: Both Jammie Wearing Fool and InstaPundit think they've found a nut in a New York Post article that discusses a meeting inside General Electric castigating CNBC for becoming too anti-Obama. Buried deep in that article is this line:

One topic under the microscope, our insider said, was on-air CNBC editor Rick Santelli's rant two months ago about staging a "Chicago Tea Party" to protest the president's bailout programs -- an idea that spawned tax protest tea parties in other big cities, infuriating the White House.

A-ha, say Mr. Fool and Mr. Pundit, the president is infuriated by the Tea Parties! High five!

Uh, except this looks like some muddled writing on the part of the Post and wishful thinking on the part of the Teabaggers -- a deadly combination. Read the line again, and it seems to me that the writer was trying to say that it was the Santelli rant that infuriated the White House. Which would make sense, because, well, remember? Also, I'd think that if the Post had the goods on the president's 'angry' reaction to the glorious Tea parties, they would not have buried it in the third paragraph in a story about GE and CNBC in their "Page Six" gossip section. You know?

I realize this story is in the wingnut tradition of too good to check, but why don't we find out what's really going on? I've sent an email off to Page Six asking to clarify. Not a big deal, but would be interesting to know.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 5:08 PM

Does this make him objectively pro-rape?

Lengthier Glenn Reynolds:
Our pathetic Tea Party protests are much, much more important than the basic human rights of those stupid women in Afghanistan
I would say that these people have lost their minds, but that would give them credit for having any mind to begin with.

Also, ahem.

UPDATE: Holy crap.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 4:31 PM

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Howard Kurtz: Clueless

I continue to be amazed at the sloppiness and laziness of Howard Kurtz, alleged media critic at the Washington Post, and noted Limbaugh apologist. Here he is today, writing about the blowhard's reaction to the Somali pirate incident:
And Rush Limbaugh didn't want Obama to fail -- on this one:

"I think we all must agree, folks, that when Obama does something right, we gotta go out there and we've got to acknowledge it. We gotta say he did a great job, and we've gotta be open-minded to the fact that Obama's going to do some good things. . . . I would like to not only jump on the bandwagon of praising President Obama for a brilliant rescue, not only a plan but its execution."

Now let's gover over this slowly, Howard. This. Is. Called. I-R-O-N-Y. Limbaugh does not mean what he says. In fact, he means exactly the opposite. You linked to the text of his first hour. I suggest you actually, you know read it, because only a retarded 3-year-old sea turtle would conclude that this was a person who was happy that Obama succeeded.

Ladies and gentlemen, I realize there are some who are still obstinate and stubborn here, unwilling to openly admit what happened -- and that is that this crisis was solved brilliantly, single-handedly by the Obama administration.


Now, even though it is ridiculous here to try to cast this in any other light, other than the heroic actions of our brave new president, President Obama, there are still naysayers. And it's very sad to me to see this.


See, this is great humility on the part our young president. He knows these people had nothing to do with it. This is all his operation. This was all his leadership. This is all him giving the order after the result of a week of careful and cool, calm deliberation on this. But he's willing to share the credit with others. We gotta give Obama credit when he is deserved credit. He had a warning, though, for other pirates.


Now, as you all know, on Sunday, the US military ended the pirate hostage crisis very much alone on the brilliant orders of command and execution by President Obama.


President Obama single-handedly solved the piracy situation over there in the horn of Africa...

And, finally, Rush explains Why He Is So Very Upset at the rescue, after getting a call from Deborah who says she understands the "sarcasm" that Rush was employing, to which Rush responds: "Wink-wink."

RUSH: If you saw my e-mail, you would not be comforted. (laughing) Deborah, thanks for the call, I appreciate it very much. Let me tell you what bothers me about this, since I have been open in my praise, since I have agreed with Jonah Goldberg that we need to bite the bullet, praise President Obama when he does the right thing. What really bothers me with the way this brilliant rescue, performed by the Navy SEALs, really bothers me the way this is being reported. I love that captain. I love the Navy SEALs. I love the US military. This is a spectacular success, and the timing on Easter Sunday could not have been better. It was a great day yesterday. This was an event that everybody was very proud of. That being said, I have a low-grade depression that underlies all this, as I expose myself to this puking reporting by the Drive-By Media. Politico, New York Times, Washington Post have chosen the headline: Obama Saves Day, giving Obama all the credit for this. I know why Obama's being tied to this as if he is the lead and the man who made it all happen and not the heroes who were directly involved.

This result, this wonderful result, folks, is going to result in raising Obama's approval ratings. That's what all of this is about. It will result in a series of stories about bravery and military success, with Obama as the key player. These approval numbers that will result from this reporting will be used as proof, or as Lanny Davis would say, poof, that Americans are totally on board for Obama's liberty depleting domestic power grabs. While we're all celebrating the end of the day for these Somali pirates, we still have to deal with the Beltway pirates who are looking to take $10 trillion from us over the next few generations.

Finally, even Jonah Goldberg, a not especially bright man, understands what was happening to him when Limbaugh constantly mocked his "atta boy, Obama" comments.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 12:17 PM

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Kill em all

Thank goodness for people like Mark Krikorian:

...[I]f every one of those pirates on the lifeboat isn't sleeping with the fishes within the next day or two, then the ChiComs, the ayatollahs, Putin, and the rest will figure they were right about Obama's effete diffidence and will act accordingly. On the other hand, if our destroyer sends the pirates to their deaths, combined with the fact the American crew — the unarmed crew — actually took back the ship from the pirates, Flight 93-style, then the world's rogues might think twice in the future, the way that Reagan's reaction to the PATCO strike had salutary foreign-policy consequences.

The above, of course, is full-on crazy. PATCO? The air-traffic controllers? Seriously? On the other hand, I'm having a hard time finding right-wing outrage at the Appeaser-in-Chief George W. Bush for say, not dropping everything to find contractors in Iraq who had been held hostage for two years (and were eventually executed) or three soldiers who were abducted just two years ago. Or soldiers who were, again, abducted in Iraq and found dead a year later. I don't recall a hue and cry over stuff like this.


Permalink posted by Jonathan : 12:24 PM

Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweethearts

Shorter Roger L. Simon:

The glorious Tea Party Tax Day protests are going to be composed exclusively of good, clean, hard-working average Joes, so just remember that if you see anyone engaging in wild and inappropriate behavior like, say calling for the death of our President or spitting on, threatening, or even physically attacking reporters, these people are -- every single one of them -- liberal plants from ACORN and the Huffington Post and should not in any way be seen as a reflection of our group as a whole. 
Rog further writes: "According to Newsbusters derived from the Cavuto Show and other sources..." This is Wingnut Reporting at its finest. The "sources" for this particular accusation of infiltration come from -- we kid you not -- some alleged woman named Kikki on some chatboard that no one has ever heard of who says, citing no evidence, that this infiltration is occurring. And that she's buying pepper spray. Later, after being echoed through the wingnut monkey cage, such firm reportage made its way to Neil Cavuto's Fox "News" show. Afterward, Cavuto's show was cited as "evidence" of the dastardly plot. 

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 10:54 AM

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