Thursday, November 17, 2005

An exciting Harry Potter review

So, my wife's sister got tix to an advance screening of the new, super exciting movie event of the winter, entitled "Harry Potter and The Greasy Complexion" or something.

Let's just say I'm not a rabid fan of the series. I read the first book, and it was charming, delightful, yah yah. Started the second, but cast it aside when it began to bore me. And haven't had any desire to revisit. I've seen all the movies, except for the first (wife is a big fan).

Simply put, this last one was a fairly tedious bore, and I've concluded that it's nearly impossible to make these books into coherent, enjoyable movies that include characters with depth that you actually care about. People flit on and off the stage, mutter some lines, the fans giggle, and the rest of us Muggles are left to shrug to one other.

The beginning of the movie is a perfect example. [Sort of Spoiler Alert!]

We see an old man making tea in a house, then going up the stairs, getting passed by a snake, looking into a room with some shifty-looking unshaven men. the men see the old man and the old man gets screwed up by a bony looking man. Cut to Harry Potter waking up (It's a dream! Or is it?) In a house somewhere, with the other Potterites. Now they're hiking, somewhere, with some adults (Ron's parents, I guess) and a new kid suddenly just appears. He's cute! Now they all grab a boot and it spins them around and they wind up in a Medieval festival, and there are a lot of quick cuts and awed-looking Harry. And then they're in a tent. And it's a lot bigger than you'd think. And Harry, I think, at this point says, "I love magic." And now they're at a Quidditch match. And suddenly they're not. And something bad is happening. And some people who look like the Ringwraiths are marching through the medieval festival. And now Harry Potter gets knocked out. And the whole fairgrounds looks like the fall of Srebrenecia, but without the bodies. Somebody is looking for Harry Potter. And now there's a big skull in the sky.

That's just the first 10 minutes.

Well, the NYT seemed to like it. But it's obvious the reviewer is a fan of the books. I submit the movies just arent' very enjoyable if you haven't read the books first.

UPDATE: And, oh geez, how could I forget to mention some of the other weird moments, like the nascent necrophilia (you'll know it when you see it), or ferrets going down people's pants or the way Ron and Harry behave like a bunch of bickering Chelsea boys. Just plain strange.

Permalink posted by Jonathan : 9:22 AM

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